Humorous outdoor situations or events

[Johnny 5]

Do you have any humorous situations or events that you or someone you know has encountered while enjoying the outdoors?

I was reading another thread which brought to mind several incidents that occurred either to me or my friends that I found funny.

A friend told of incident. His buddy was asleep and then suddenly woke up and started thrashing around violently. When the commotion had subsided my friend asked him what had happened. He told him that he hates snakes and when he fell asleep his arm must have fallen asleep also because when he woke up and rolled over he felt something laying on his chest that felt like a snake. He grabbed it and tried to through it away but as he thrashed around it kept coming back. He finally woke up enough to realized what had happened. Lucky he didn't try to kill it with his knife.

 

[scratchypants]

Brother in law and I (before he was my BIL) were transporting a 14' Jon boat from our main camp to a lake about a mile away through the bush. The night before we had both tucked in pretty hard to dad's homemade vino. We got up early, had breakfast, and were still slightly looped. We've got the boat on our heads and he's in the bow and we're about halfway up the trail when the hangover begins to kick in. He pukes up his bacon and eggs and the stink gets stuck in the hull, so I start upchucking right behind him. The sound of me barfing sets off a second for him, and so forth. We dropped the boat, laugh-puking the whole time.

 

[Johnny 5]

A buddy and I had hiked all day through on and off rain. I was wet and tired, we stopped just before dark and I fell asleep on a mat on the wet ground with a poncho liner and poncho over me. Sometime near first light I peaked out from under my poncho and saw my buddy about 10 yards away in a hammock. I was jealous and imagined how dry and comfortable he must feel compared to me. It started raining again so I covered up and fell back asleep. Sometime later I woke up when I heard my buddy rustling around. This time when I look out the sun was up and I could see that the hammock was bulging and sagging badly . I saw a knife blade poke through the bottom of the hammock and water started pouring out the hole. It must have been like sleeping in a bathtub full of water. Misery loves company so I couldn't help but laugh. It gets better, about the time that the water stops draining out, the hole gets bigger until suddenly the bottom of the hammock tear opens and he falls through into the mud. This was followed by some unkind words on his part and additional laughter on my part.

 

[tketcham]

I just heard this story told on the Moth on NPR...

The Cussing Canoeist

The witness's account of the event while on the stand is priceless.

 

[ppine]

I did a summer trip in Idaho on the Snake River in the Birds of Prey section above the Treasure Valley. One friend and I paddled solo. We put in below Swan Falls Dam which is used for power generation. We camped below a large rapid and enjoyed watching the jet boats going upstream. That night was warm and the dam released more water for power demands. I woke up at 0300 in a wet sleeping bag. Kitchen pots were floating in the camp site. We put all of our gear in the boats and headed for higher ground.

I was sitting in a lawn chair on a levee above the river. Our sleeping bags were hanging in cottonwood trees drying out in the gentle breeze. I was opening my second beer when my friend turns to me and says. "Its a good thing there are no women on this trip."

 

[Johnny 5]

A coworker told me that while sleeping in a tent he woke to feel something poking him in the backside. Assuming that it was his partner moving around he reached back and gave him a swat. Turns out that he was asleep with his backside against the tent wall and he had swatted a bear. The bear, in turn, swatted back ripping a hole in the tent.

 

[Johnny 5]

We were using a 13 foot inflatable and coming off the water late at night. A friend met us in a pickup truck to transport us back to camp. We normally place the boat upside down on the bed of the truck with the bow on the cab, the bow line tied to the front bumper, the stern tied to the rear bumper and a cross strap midway in the truck bed. This time we were tired and in a hurry to get back to camp so when we placed the boat upside down on the truck with the bow line attached to the front bumper someone volunteered to ride in the truck bed and hold the boat. The rest of us jumped into the cab for the ride back to camp. Shortly after hitting the highway the wind lifted the boat off the truck where it landed right side up on the road and was being towed by the bow line with our friend in it.

 

[Steve in Idaho]

I just heard this story told on the Moth on NPR...

The Cussing Canoeist

The witness's account of the event while on the stand is priceless.

That is hilariously irreverently hilarious!

 

[Steve in Idaho]

Not canoe related, but one of my favorite funny memories....
A buddy and I were up in the woods near the Seven Devils wilderness, hunting turkeys. We had set up a decoy in a small clearing at the foot of a hill, and were calling from our hidey hole at the edge of the clearing. We had a little verbal response from a distance, but no live turkey yet appeared. What did appear, threading through the underbrush on the other side of the clearing was a lone coyote. Well, that confirmed that our box calls were sounding at least a little authentic.

As the coyote closed in on the clearing, we began to hear the sound of hoofbeats approaching down the hill behind us. At that, the coyote dropped down out of sight in the brush. We assumed it was probably hiding from approaching horsemen, but what appeared was a small herd of antlerless elk. Well, that was a treat, but we really didn't expect what came next.

The wind must have been in the coyote's favor, because the elk walked straight up to it - upon which the coyote sprung straight up like a Jack-in-a-box right in front of the lead cow's nose. Of course, the elk started running....but instead of running straight away, they began running in a tight circle as the coyote chased them while they chased the coyote. After several orbits, the elk herd scattered, and the coyote stood there for a moment with what we imagined was a huge grin and laughing eyes before it wandered off.

To this day, I've never believed for a minute that lone coyote thought it was doing anything more than pranking those elk.

 

[tketcham]

To this day, I've never believed for a minute that lone coyote thought it was doing anything more than pranking those elk.

Well, Coyote is the trickster.

 

[Patrick Corry]

Years ago, 1967 to be exact, after having finished canoeing the Allagash (so this is a canoetripping-related story) our crew of Boy Scouts decided to climb Mt. Katahdin before heading home. We ascended via the Abol Ridge trail. Above tree line one of our guys that day was wearing shorts and desert boots which were popular at the time. For those who aren’t familiar, they are short boots with a somewhat open top edge. My friend whose last name was McC… decided to relieve himself of breakfast directly beside a large boulder with a sloping face- the only opportunity for privacy available. A few moments later, those of us waiting for our pal heard, “Oh crap… I just crap in my shoe!” Apparently the turd hit the rock, rolled down and into the squat-induced, gaping open top of his shoe. He was known for the duration of the trip, and some time thereafter, as Old crap-in-the-shoe McC….

 

[Steve in Idaho]

Oh man.... I remember desert boots. Didn't take me long to hate those. Should've called them sand collectors.

 

[snapper]

A bit off topic but for some reason, desert boots became the shoe of choice for our high school's marching band. I eventually moved into a pair of white bucks, with my director's permission, since carrying a 50 lb. sousaphone through the streets of NYC and suburbia required more support than those boots ever game me.

That's all for now. Take care and until next time...be well.

snapper

 

[lowangle al]

Years ago, my wife and I used to take an annual trip to Florida in the winter. We would do a trip in the Everglades and also visit my mother. This story happened while visiting my mother.

Gail, myself and my mom went to the beach one afternoon. After sitting a while Gail and I went for a walk down the beach. We were on our way back and decided to go in for a swim. While we were out there Gail saw my mom walking down the beach. She tried getting her attention by calling to her and was waving her arms over her head.

My mom looked distracted and didn’t see us. The next thing we knew, two lifeguards came running towards us with their life guard gear. It seems they thought my wife was caught in a rip current and needed to be rescued. We explained what happened and were very embarrassed.

While this was going on, my mother was having her own exciting time. She was witnessing a real life rescue. As she watched the lifeguards running into the water she was very concerned that someone was in trouble. Her concern turned to shock when she saw that the person in “trouble” was Gail.

Luckily everything was Ok and we had a big laugh over it.

 

[lalan45]

Do you have any humorous situations or events that you or someone you know has encountered while enjoying the outdoors?

I was reading another thread which brought to mind several incidents that occurred either to me or my friends that I found funny.

A friend told of incident. His buddy was asleep and then suddenly woke up and started thrashing around violently. When the commotion had subsided my friend asked him what had happened. He told him that he hates snakes and when he fell asleep his arm must have fallen asleep also because when he woke up and rolled over he felt something laying on his chest that felt like a snake. He grabbed it and tried to through it away but as he thrashed around it kept coming back. He finally woke up enough to realized what had happened. Lucky he didn't try to kill it with his knife.

Haha, that’s a great one The mix of half-asleep panic and imagination can be brutal outdoors. I’ve seen similar “snake moments” where someone bolts upright convinced a rope or sleeping bag strap is alive—only to realize it’s their own gear (or arm). The outdoors definitely has a way of turning harmless things into comedy gold once the adrenaline wears off.

 

[Bentpushrod]

This is pretty embarrassing. On my first trip to the BWCA I was solo. Paddled out to a nice site on the Kawishiwi River, and set up camp. Had a nice steak dinner, and retired to my chair to watch the northern lights. I had the foresight to pack in two stainless growlers of beer from the Boathouse brewery in Ely. After imbibing in that nice cold brew, I retired to my tent for the evening. This was the beginning of May, and the temperature was forecast to be in the mid 30’s at night. Thinking I was pretty smart I brought an empty Nalgene bottle into my tent. I’m in my mid fifties, and climbing out of a tiny tent when nature calls didn’t seem very appealing in the middle of the night. Well, nature did call. I answered that call, the Nalgene bottle worked perfectly.

A couple hours later I woke up thirsty. Reached for a bottle of water, which I also had in another Nalgene. You can guess which Nalgene bottle I grabbed. I no longer bring an empty bottle into my tent for that purpose anymore.

 

[Dana]

Years ago I was camping in Harriman S.P (NY). I was bivouacking about halfway up the side of the mountain, off trail, all alone. There was a hiking trail and designated campsite up on the ridge, but not too close to where I was. Late spring, it was a very hot evening but not buggy, I was hot and grungy, so with nobody around I just stripped down to nothing and lay down on top of my sleeping bag, no tent, to relax and cool off before making dinner. Probably sipping a Scotch, I don't remember.

A bit later a deer came wandering by and as I was just laying still it got quite close before slowly browsing off. I was into bowhunting at the time (though not this trip) and had recently read one of the Tom Brown books where he wrote about going into the woods with nothing but a knife, leaving even his clothes behind, and living off the land for a year. So still bare-arse naked, barefoot too, I naturally (no pun intended) just decided to stalk the deer and see how close I could stay without spooking it.

I did pretty good, staying well within bow range (if I'd had one with me) as it moved some distance along the hillside with me following. I came around some bushes, still focusing on the deer, then glanced to my right and there was somebody standing there about 50 yards away, looking at me. I just slowly turned around and wandered back down the way I came.