As I age, my body has produced a litany of barriers that prevent me from enjoying canoe tripping. The main culprits are my Back, my heart, and my dastardly ability to cramp up like a monkey fist late at night. This summer, I want to do a real trip, with ports and stuff, and I want to enjoy it.
With this thought in mind, I have developed an idea called the "Three Carry Portage Method" (TCPM). The idea is to break my load down so small that I'm basically going for an easy stroll through the bush. Since I like I like walking and observing nature, TCPM gives me the opportunity to fully experience nature.
I'm looking for input from people who are only interested in TCPM, none of you Gram Weenies need comment on the benefits of single carry madness (SCM). I expect my good chums at Canoetripping to keep thread drift to a minimum.
Here's my ideas, in order of importance, on how to make the best TCPM trip possible:
1. Marry a French Canadian Woman who is considerably younger than you, and has Voyageur blood in her veins. She will do two of the three carries, and have energy left over to clean fish and cook.
2. Give up drinking booze. This saves huge amounts of weight, and enables the TCPM instead of the FCPM.
3. Convince the aforementioned wife that she could easily portage a 33 pound canoe, thus extending my life by preventing a heart attack.
4. Bring a goat on the trip. Goats can carry a heck of a load with a custom backpack, and you don't have to bring any goat food, they will eat anything. Plus, if you get a feisty goat, it will fight off bears. There are also the endless hours of goat antics entertainment while sitting around the fire.
5. On day five of the trip, eat the goat. The goat will give you quite a bit of meat, and you can have a rest day to smoke the meat you don't eat.
I'm open to any other TCPM suggestions, but remember, no SCM suggestions.
With this thought in mind, I have developed an idea called the "Three Carry Portage Method" (TCPM). The idea is to break my load down so small that I'm basically going for an easy stroll through the bush. Since I like I like walking and observing nature, TCPM gives me the opportunity to fully experience nature.
I'm looking for input from people who are only interested in TCPM, none of you Gram Weenies need comment on the benefits of single carry madness (SCM). I expect my good chums at Canoetripping to keep thread drift to a minimum.
Here's my ideas, in order of importance, on how to make the best TCPM trip possible:
1. Marry a French Canadian Woman who is considerably younger than you, and has Voyageur blood in her veins. She will do two of the three carries, and have energy left over to clean fish and cook.
2. Give up drinking booze. This saves huge amounts of weight, and enables the TCPM instead of the FCPM.
3. Convince the aforementioned wife that she could easily portage a 33 pound canoe, thus extending my life by preventing a heart attack.
4. Bring a goat on the trip. Goats can carry a heck of a load with a custom backpack, and you don't have to bring any goat food, they will eat anything. Plus, if you get a feisty goat, it will fight off bears. There are also the endless hours of goat antics entertainment while sitting around the fire.
5. On day five of the trip, eat the goat. The goat will give you quite a bit of meat, and you can have a rest day to smoke the meat you don't eat.
I'm open to any other TCPM suggestions, but remember, no SCM suggestions.
But no luck.
