We had been running low on food and at Whetstone Rapids we found a sweet site but we were toast. Looking in the food bags we had some Bisquick, powdered milk and garlic powder and not a whole lot else. I cooked up some basically garlic pancakes
Doug’s garlic pancakes (which he declared tasty???) got me thinking about the worst tripping meals I have ever experienced. There are a number of choices, from the grits-based natural foods to other early tripping meals with inexperienced/inept “chefs”.
A teenage year’s friend who made a big pot of mac and cheese. Perhaps the first pot of mac and cheese he had ever made himself. He did not bring the instructions and figured mac and cheese could simply be dumped in a pot of boiling water and served immediately with the cheese packet dumped atop. Crunchy yet powdery, inedible mac and cheese.
Someone who shall be nameless managed to eff up the simplest of things, a can of pork and bean, adding hot sauce, more hot sauce, chili powder, red pepper and whatever else he could find. I think there may have been curry powder in the mix, but I distinctly remember someone sputtering “Only you could ruin a can of pork and beans”.
The worst, or at least most inept, was an Aussie friend who announced that he would show us how to cook steaks “outback style” on a coastal trip. He hailed from Sydney, and I think his outback experience came from watching Crocodile Dundee movies.
This outback style of steak cookery involved no grill, he simply laid the steaks sizzling on a bed of coals. Other Aussie traditions apparently involved being falling down drunk while cooking, and haphazardly turning the steaks, managing to drop each and every one in the beach sand. Repeatedly, until each steak was well encrusted top and bottom while muttering “Nah worries mate, that’el brush rought off”
He graciously served everyone, and I watched as every member of our party took a first gritty bite and eventually, not-so-surreptitiously, Frisbeed their steak into the surf. At least the sand sharks ate well that night.