Lately I find my mind wondering a lot. I think it may be part of a defense against cabin fever. I have been looking at maps and day dreaming in my free time and at work. I took a map to work last week to show a co-worker where I'm at when I get that vacant look on my face. I didn't want him to think I'm loosing the rest of my marbles. I'm not sure it helped. When I showed him the route I want to take on my next solo trip he stared at the map and then me with a look that said you must be nuts to go all by your self. I re-wind industrial electric motors at a motor shop and some of the steps involved are repetitive. Lately at times my mind is hundreds of miles away.
I want to take several trips over the next few years and store the memories away for that time when I decide I shouldn't go solo any more. I consider myself lucky to have gotten to take the trips I have. I have some lower back issues that will take me out of the game eventually. I have regained the ability to carry light-ish loads square on my back (50-70 lbs max on a good day). Can't carry anything to speak (20-25 lbs)of in front of me, it puts pressure on a disk that is worn thin in the front. Oddly I can pick up 50-60 lbs at my side with one hand with out causing problems. I can't even bend forward for more then about ten seconds with out pain starting to build. Repetitive bending like picking up sticks in the yard is out of the question most of the time. It seems odd to people that know me because I have good upper body strength and look fit enough for my age of 56. When some one asks me to help lift a heavy object they look at me with unbelief when I say no I can't help you. The fact that I quit frontal lifting has helped me regain some ground. Thirteen years ago on a day trip I had to ask my then 14 year old son to portage the canoe for me. Explaining to him that I couldn't carry it was the most humbling thing I have ever done. I had enjoyed being "the man" in his eyes all his life. The look in his eyes when I asked him to portage the canoe broke my heart. It was a look of insecurity and fear. That day I fell hard off the pedestal that he had put me on for all those years. Anyway, fast forward to today. If I keep up "maintenance" and obey my list of don'ts, I can do most things in moderation. Hammock camping made it possible for me to get back out. I couldn't sleep on the ground very well. And if I start the cycle of back pain it goes down hill very fast.
I may have even been granted a short "man" pedestal in my son's eyes. In 2012 my son and I went on a Fall canoe trip in the BWCA. We took two canoes and each paddled solo. His original intent was to single carry and go back and take some of my gear. I told him that carrying my own gear helped fight off the feeling of old age creeping in. On the water I had a edge in endurance and I think it surprised him in a pleasant way to see me "strong again in his eyes".
Some day I will have to make that decision to hang solo tripping up. I'm hoping for ten more good years. Planning possible trips is good medicine for cabin fever. Looking at photos of past trips is too. Some day if I live long enough, all I will have is the memories of "glory days". Portages accomplished, crossings made against the wind, the satisfaction of being warm and dry during adverse weather in a camp of my own making. Walking down to the lake at first light to get some coffee water. Warming your hands on the sides while drinking that first cup with the steam rising off of it. Watching the morning mist float on the water. Throwing sticks on a fire at night, miles away from anyone. Hearing a loon's song in the middle of the night. My eyes have teared up just thinking of these things and how blessed I have been in life to experience them. A few years ago this wasn't possible for me. In a few more years it won't be possible. But I have already made enough good memories to take with me into old age. here's to memories.
Rippy
I want to take several trips over the next few years and store the memories away for that time when I decide I shouldn't go solo any more. I consider myself lucky to have gotten to take the trips I have. I have some lower back issues that will take me out of the game eventually. I have regained the ability to carry light-ish loads square on my back (50-70 lbs max on a good day). Can't carry anything to speak (20-25 lbs)of in front of me, it puts pressure on a disk that is worn thin in the front. Oddly I can pick up 50-60 lbs at my side with one hand with out causing problems. I can't even bend forward for more then about ten seconds with out pain starting to build. Repetitive bending like picking up sticks in the yard is out of the question most of the time. It seems odd to people that know me because I have good upper body strength and look fit enough for my age of 56. When some one asks me to help lift a heavy object they look at me with unbelief when I say no I can't help you. The fact that I quit frontal lifting has helped me regain some ground. Thirteen years ago on a day trip I had to ask my then 14 year old son to portage the canoe for me. Explaining to him that I couldn't carry it was the most humbling thing I have ever done. I had enjoyed being "the man" in his eyes all his life. The look in his eyes when I asked him to portage the canoe broke my heart. It was a look of insecurity and fear. That day I fell hard off the pedestal that he had put me on for all those years. Anyway, fast forward to today. If I keep up "maintenance" and obey my list of don'ts, I can do most things in moderation. Hammock camping made it possible for me to get back out. I couldn't sleep on the ground very well. And if I start the cycle of back pain it goes down hill very fast.
I may have even been granted a short "man" pedestal in my son's eyes. In 2012 my son and I went on a Fall canoe trip in the BWCA. We took two canoes and each paddled solo. His original intent was to single carry and go back and take some of my gear. I told him that carrying my own gear helped fight off the feeling of old age creeping in. On the water I had a edge in endurance and I think it surprised him in a pleasant way to see me "strong again in his eyes".
Some day I will have to make that decision to hang solo tripping up. I'm hoping for ten more good years. Planning possible trips is good medicine for cabin fever. Looking at photos of past trips is too. Some day if I live long enough, all I will have is the memories of "glory days". Portages accomplished, crossings made against the wind, the satisfaction of being warm and dry during adverse weather in a camp of my own making. Walking down to the lake at first light to get some coffee water. Warming your hands on the sides while drinking that first cup with the steam rising off of it. Watching the morning mist float on the water. Throwing sticks on a fire at night, miles away from anyone. Hearing a loon's song in the middle of the night. My eyes have teared up just thinking of these things and how blessed I have been in life to experience them. A few years ago this wasn't possible for me. In a few more years it won't be possible. But I have already made enough good memories to take with me into old age. here's to memories.
Rippy
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