After 40 days my new seats arrived!

[Guest]

I saw on USPS Tracking that the seat was “Out for delivery”, and was waiting mask in hand to walk out to greet the mail lady. Instead it was a young guy in a truck, who came bouncing down my rough dirt drive like he was leading the Daytona 500. He quickly left the box leaning against my truck and fled back up the driveway at the same speed. I was just walking out the door and, as he hurriedly drove away, he gave me a weird look of mixed concern and disgust.

Note this is now plural, “seats”. I was expecting only one, but received three. Custom seats; all with laminated frames and wide-body 10” x 20” webbing area, one flat bench with a fat-derriere extended half circle on the back frame, one full contour, one with a contoured front rail and flat back rail. Simply gorgeous craftsmanship and finishing.

I will have to take some photos. And, despite previously saying that I didn’t even have a canoe in which to install a new seat, eh, we have a dozen solo boats with webbed seats not half this nice; I’ll be swapping seats soon.

There was a large Covid-19 label on the box, which at first glance I took to be some new USPS notice. Until I looked more closely and read the following:

Self-administered Covid-19 Testing Kit
Your mother was right; a rectal read is more accurate
Kit includes:

1. Adjustable inspection mirror
2. Assorted anal swabs (S – XXXL)
3. Silicone leakage plug
4. Step by step “How to” video of proper swabbing technique
5. Discreet prepaid return mailer.

I really wish I had made it out to the truck before he fled, but he wasted no time in getting gone.

And I guess I got got.

 

[Boreal Birch]

Careful the new administer might just block you.
The best laugh out loud moment of my day, thanks Mike

 

[Glenn MacGrady]

40 days?

Another famous boater spent 40 days and nights on big water waiting to see land. And there are many other divine examples of 40 day periods of privation, testing and ultimate exaltation in hallowed history.

The word "quarantine" comes from the the Italian word for 40 days, as that was the period of time passengers had to stay isolated on a ships in an Italian port during the Black Death.

See . . . it all ties together in a circular corona of sick boating antiquity, even if this thread never goes viral.

 

[yellowcanoe]

Dat Devil Doug D? Very cool!

 

[Guest]

That is a quintessential Glenn reply; some fables, historic word origin explanation and multiple puns, all in a few sentences.

Yea, as I have wandered through the valley of the seatless, the Post Office restoreth my soul, and leadeth me in the path of righteous outfitting.

Not Dat Devil DougD, he wishes he could build seats like those. There are distinctive builder ID hints in the design, construction and craftsmanship of the seats.

Flat bench with half moon wide derriere stern projection. Does this seat make my arse look fat? I will shift back on a bench seat to raise the bow a touch when needed. That’ll design will do nicely.

P8290002 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

Full contour, both back and front rails with 1” of deflection. We have similar full contours in several canoes; nothing close to that well made.

P8290003 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

Half contour, flat back rail, front rail with 1” of deflection.

P8290005 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

Laminated ash and basswood for strength, and other small but exquisite design touches; the edge of the front cross rails are gently sloped to alleviated right-angle pressure on the thighs, especially when kneeling.

Polypro webbing of course, and flawless varnish work; I expect more than the quick spray or dip that comes on most seats. I should ask how that is achieved, not that my sloppy brushwork application would help in any way.

Unseen, no doubt something sturdier than a typical dowel/biscuit joint, using proper adhesive. Nothing but the best everywhere I look.

As soon as I finish with the canoe currently in the shop, which has a bucket seat, I’ll be replacing some OEM, Ed’s or Essex bench seats on our other canoes. I may hold one seat in reserve, just in case I ever find that cheap used BlackGold Bell Morningstar to soloize. Even a WhiteGold or KevCrystal would do ;-)

I should confess that the mailman’s look of surprise may have had less to do with the “Covid-19 Test Kit” label on the box than with his glimpse at my masks as he scurried up the driveway. Masks, plural.

P8290008 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

I donned that multi-mask attire when the plumber, whom I know well, knocked on the door last week. He about busted a gut when I yanked the door open, and we both started off our morning’s with a laugh. Full mask at the Case & Keg, where everybody knows my name, was likewise successful. OK, the beer distributor guy I encountered in the back was a bit shaken.

Cashier-familiar local country store and Post Office still to come. Gawd but I want to have breakfast at the diner again. I have a reputation to maintain.

It’s a dang shame we don’t have evangelicals knocking on the door these days. Those masks would pair perfectly with what I have in mind; tear my shirt off, put those masks on, fling the door open and loudly exclaim “Oh goody, you must be the threesome I ordered!”

Am I banned yet?

 

[Boreal Birch]

I sure hope not.
I'm still laughing from yesterday, as soon as this thread runs it's course I going to bookmark it, to keep it handy.
You make my days better, many thanks Mike,
...........Birchy

 

[Conk]

Flat bench with half moon wide derriere stern projection. Does this seat make my arse look fat? I will shift back on a bench seat to raise the bow a touch when needed. That’ll design will do nicely.

Actually, the curved rail of this seat was intended to be forward. It was born out of the desires of a kneeling freestyler who felt a need for greater offside cheek support when positioned askew to the keel-line. The winning design of the concept also incorporated a 25-degree cant of the curved rail and an uberwide (27") seating area. Never did I imagine its use as a sliding butt trim adjustment feature. I guess it takes a big-butted paddler to visualize an abstract notion.

 

[Matt C]

Conk, I appreciate that you radius the inside edges of the seat frame, an additional step that is apparently lost on Ed's contour bucket. Do you keep an inventory at Dave Curtis' shop or will I need to order as well (I am 10 miles away)?

 

[Guest]

Actually, the curved rail of this seat was intended to be forward. It was born out of the desires of a kneeling freestyler who felt a need for greater offside cheek support when positioned askew to the keel-line. The winning design of the concept also incorporated a 25-degree cant of the curved rail and an uberwide (27") seating area. Never did I imagine its use as a sliding butt trim adjustment feature. I guess it takes a big-butted paddler to visualize an abstract notion.

I failed to appreciate the intended cheeky function of that design. Had I looked more closely I would have noticed the beveled lip of the curved cross rail, indicating “This side towards front’.

None the less, as a big butted nearly-never-kneeler I will install it with the curved portion towards the stern, so that I have some seat extension on that side for when I shift my bulk back to raise the bow.

Some of you may recall the massive seat JSaults built for his Magic. Jim was no Twiggy, and he too would shift his weight fore and aft on the seat for trim adjustment. So that half his arse wasn’t hanging off the back Jim’s solution was to build the deepest seat I have ever seen, it was easily 16” front to back, maybe more. With a big guy, gear load and a wind filled sail that trim-the-bow-lighter weight shift was handy.

IMG013 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

Might even work for skinny Ectomorphs.

I foresee some custom shaped Ridgerest cushion anchored under loose webbing straps to augment that winning fat arse design.

P7140012 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr

 

[Guest]

I am quickly getting nothing done. I have some on-going plumbing, post-leak house repairs and, egads, office paperwork that needs done. If I listed my least favorite things to do those would be in the top five. Disheartening and uninteresting tasks, so I every time I walk out to the shop for some tool or part I stop to fondle my new seats.

I keep picking them up, looking at the craftsmanship and attention to detail and getting distracted. I’ve seen Conk seats in several canoes, but never held one for close up inspection. The ash/basswood lamination is tight and perfect, aesthetically two-tone pleasing, and the varnish work is beyond my ken.

The bitter ends of the webbing are secured inside the frame as they should be, so there are no rough webbing ends to scrape calves when kneeling, or catch on gear when stuffing something under the seat. That much I do when re-webbing seats, and it also provides an opportunity to add a couple more staples.

The wood grain is all straight and true and the cheeky big-butt-curved cross rail is an 11 layer lamination of ash and basswood. I haven’t a clue how all that is done, epoxied and pressed across some form, steam bent, some other magic? I only know that it is miles beyond my shop skills, even if I had the tools.

The seats I have built? Let’s just say a monkey with a saw, drill and paw full of fasteners could make one. And probably do a better varnish job.

 

[Glenn MacGrady]

Flat bench with half moon wide derriere stern projection. Does this seat make my arse look fat? I will shift back on a bench seat to raise the bow a touch when needed. That’ll design will do nicely.

Originally posted by Conk

Actually, the curved rail of this seat was intended to be forward. It was born out of the desires of a kneeling freestyler who felt a need for greater offside cheek support when positioned askew to the keel-line. The winning design of the concept also incorporated a 25-degree cant of the curved rail and an uberwide (27") seating area. Never did I imagine its use as a sliding butt trim adjustment feature. I guess it takes a big-butted paddler to visualize an abstract notion.

Mike's placement of the semicircular seat is not historically half-arsed. Here is how they used it in olde tymes:



This picture is of a 20' Templeton canoe, restored in 1996 by Rollin Thurlow of Northwoods Canoe in Maine, currently listed on the Virginia Craigslist for the amazingly low price of $1,500 USD:

https://roanoke.craigslist.org/boa/d/lexington-20-foot-wood-canvas-canoe/7205125597.html

 

[lowangle al]

That is a nice looking boat Glen, and a good deal for someone looking for a 20 footer. My guess about the extra depth of the seat is that it is there for adjusting trim. Being that close to the end of the boat combined with hull getting more narrow, you get a lot of bang for your buck with just a little movement as far as trim is concerned. It is especially important to lighten the bow of a loaded big boat when being handled by a solo stern paddler.

 

[Guest]

My guess about the extra depth of the seat is that it is there for adjusting trim.

you get a lot of bang for your buck with just a little movement as far as trim is concerned. It is especially important to lighten the bow of a loaded big boat when being handled by a solo stern paddler.

I am generally not a fan of sliding bench seats, and often shift my weight fore or aft on the “center” seats in solo boats. With the Spirit Sail up the wind in the filled sail pushes the bow down a bit, just when I want to be a little bow light heading downwind. Shifting back on the seat helps to free the bow a bit.

And I shift forward at times; in some of our solo canoes with skegged rocker, or with a seat positioned further aft of center than usual, when paddling over too-shallow cobble bars I need only shift forward an inch or two to alleviate the rumblegrumble of the stern skid plate thumping off rocks. Back in deeper water, back fully on the seat to readjust the trim.

Some of you may recall the massive seat JSaults built for his Magic. Jim was no Twiggy, and he too would shift his weight fore and aft on the seat for trim adjustment. So that half his arse wasn’t hanging off the back Jim’s solution was to build the deepest seat I have ever seen, it was easily 16” front to back, maybe more. With a big guy, gear load and a wind filled sail that trim-the-bow-lighter weight shift was handy

Were clever Jim still with us I bet he would be crafting a solo center seat akin to that Templeton. That semi-circle at the back looks très élégante.