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Kevin Callan's 91 (!!!) Rules for Wilderness Canoe Camping

I spent 12 years/23 weeks of trips in the greater Wabakimi area accurately measuring portages for the Wabakimi Project.
But did you carry the proverbial measuring wheel? (in meters, rods or feet?)

6. Show fewer slides in your next slideshow.
I stink at rule-following anyway so I'll probably just ignore this one. (though maybe a TR is different because the reader controls the pace)
 
But did you carry the proverbial measuring wheel? (in meters, rods or feet?)

We used a 30 meter tape and were strictly supervised and expected to ensure the tape was laid flat on the tread so we got an exact measurement. Wabakimi Project standards on portages started to decline once Uncle Phil became too feeble to walk back and check our work.
 
Rule # 1 - When on a group trip, if an unknown person hands you a small carrot muffin that has a skull and crossbone wrapper on it, immediately refuse it.
Rule # 2 - If rule # 1 was ignored, upon realizing that the muffin was in fact loaded with the Devil's lettuce, do not attempt any form of paddling, in fact, retreat to tent for the next several hours until you can talk and move again.
Rule #3 - always canoe trip solo, group trips are sketchy, if it's not the Devil's Muffins, it could be Deliverance.
 
Number 1: To experience the glory and pristine beauty of the wilderness, never bring toilet paper.

Perhaps this should be Number 2 just for consistency sake. Nevertheless, my grandfather who taught me woodsmanship in Maine when I was a boy showed my how to use large green leaves instead of toilet paper. I suppose it's fortunate that we were not in the Maine woods during spring, fall or winter.

Perhaps I was exaggerating

Well, you're now posting the morning after.
 
Perhaps this should be Number 2 just for consistency sake. Nevertheless, my grandfather who taught me woodsmanship in Maine when I was a boy showed my how to use large green leaves instead of toilet paper. I suppose it's fortunate that we were not in the Maine woods during spring, fall or winter.

Common mullein makes excellent toilet paper. Large, soft leaves.

 
Common Mullein, aka “Cowboy Toilet Paper,” in case you thought I was joking.

 
I carried a lot of rope on last summer's trip, thinking I would hardly use any of it. Barely made it through. Could have used a lot more.
 
I chuckled at the one about not needing an axe. Figured that one out years ago. Also if using a stick stove I learned I don’t need a saw either.
 
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