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OT but fun - Sales and Scam calls

My experience is mixed; I have a lot of sympathy for the honest folks stuck in a bad job and since giving up our land lines we don't get a whole lot of scammers on the phone anymore. We do get the missionaries at the door from time to time though and they're invariably well-intentioned super polite kids. Lately I've taken to trying to get them to crack a smile. It's not easy to get them off script but when they do their smiles feel good ... I also had two young men helping with yard waste last summer; traipsing across the yard in their white shirts and black pants; and two women who met me in the driveway this January who passed me their bundle of pamphlets and picked up snow shovels. Neither set came back though .... hmmmm
 
Once upon a time, I worked as a phone solicitor for a few months. Was glad to get away from that. Because of perspective gained from that experience, I actually don't have any sympathy for them or the companies they represent. The fact is, if people need or want something, they will seek it out. And in today's technological world, finding what you seek is easier than ever. High pressure sales, in my mind, are just as unethical and unwelcome as outright scams. I have no patience for either. If I had more time to waste, I could have some fun with them, but I'll leave that to others (and thanks for sharing the good stuff!)

Technology is great. My standing policy is that if I don't have a name attached to a number that is calling, I don't answer (unless I'm currently selling something - sometimes). The caller can leave a message on my voice mail...otherwise, it must not be important. I don't have to deal with junk phone calls much.
 
I seem to be especially popular with these people, they phone me constantly! A few years ago a young lady (sounded young, anyway) called. I interrupted her spiel with: "I'm sorry, I'm at work. My employer charges $85 per hour for my services, 1/2 hour minimum. Could I have your credit card number please?" There was a 2 or 3 second pause, then the most delightful giggle I've ever heard. We wished each other a good day & parted company. I think of her often & would love to meet her in person. Of course, there was the poor bugger who called me (again at work) one night. We had 3 phone lines, 2 with consecutive numbers. First call I told him to drop dead & quit bothering me. (Well...not quite that nicely, I was really busy at the time.) A minute or so later same caller, same response. Maybe five minutes later *same guy*! I answered as per usual (no time to check caller ID). There was a 2 second silence, then a loud "f*ck you!" and he slammed the phone down. Bet that ruined his whole week, but it sure made mine!
 
In the 80s, a woman called to sell us something. At one point, I innocently said "you're barking up the wrong tree." She must not have ever heard the idiom, as she exploded in rage, thinking incorrectly that I had called her a b*tch or the equivalent. I tried to calm her down, but she was having none of it.

At first I was somewhat amused, but after a lot of her screaming, she said she knew where I lived and she was getting her crew and coming over that very night to kill me. At which point, I lost my cool, and ended with something about loading my shotgun and I'll see you soon.

I did in fact take the shotgun out of the closet just in case, but didn't lose any sleep over it. I was single then renting a house with a couple of buddies.

Some people are just not cut out for interpersonal business jobs.
 
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