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Useless gear, equipment and garments

Glenn MacGrady

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Tell us about gear, equipment or garments that turned out to be little used, outright useless, or a waste of money to you.

I've bought so much stuff I ended up not liking or never using that I have a hard time remembering it all.

One of the first was some utility tool that was supposed to be a combo shovel, axe and saw, but couldn't function well as any one of them. I think they were issued to losing armies in the war of 1812. I took it on one canoe trip 42 years ago and don't recall seeing it after that.

Another was an all-metal, double edged divers knife that I used to wear on my whitewater life jacket in the '80's, but other paddlers strapped to their bicep. It might have been good for stabbing baby harp seals, but it couldn't cut jack and I used it a grand total of once in ten years—to spread peanut butter.
 
I don't like Multi-tools Leathermans, Swiss Army... pounds/use I just don't see the need for them in the woods. I have never said 'If I only had a Phillips Screwdriver...' The knives are weak, and I carry one, the saws are useless and again I take one.
Yes it may help in a survival situation but I wouldn't be wearing it, it would be in my bag and if I had it I would I'd have my primary tools.

I used to work maintenance and carried a Leatherman all the time, it saved me a walk to the toolbox on a simple repair, but I have never missed it in the woods.
 
Not paying attention when I first started buying lights. I had bought a couple headlights and flashlights with oddball batteries. The ones with the "123" or the button cells. IMO those are useless if batteries are not readily available to pick up somewhere. Also one of those hand bilge pumps. I'm sure others like them. But it is easier to me with a cup or sponge. I though I needed an axe on my camping trips.. but so far it has just been added weight. But a lot of this is just inexperience and I have learned a lot of what not to bring from just reading this forum for next time.

@sweeper I have that love hate with leathermans. They have saved me many times in a race. But they are just enough to help and not enough to make me mad!
 
Compass, I carry one somewhere in my pack but I have never used it. I have read reports where folks used one for long crossings in fog, or maybe in case they needed to hike out, but I have never done either and never will so it stays buried in my pack.
I will always carry my small ax but seldom use it these days, small fires made with twigs and branches, and in bed by sunset are the norm these days.
 
Pop-up sail. Thought I'd use it. Never have.
You mean like a Wind Paddle? They're great in the right conditions--we probably sailed closed to 50 miles on a 600 mile trip. After using one, I bought one that Glenn didn't use since the original ones were discontinued.
 
Pop-up sail. Thought I'd use it. Never have.

You mean like a Wind Paddle? They're great in the right conditions--we probably sailed closed to 50 miles on a 600 mile trip. After using one, I bought one that Glenn didn't use since the original ones were discontinued.

That raises an interesting and probably obvious point: Something can be more or less useful or useless to different paddlers. I bought my Wind Paddle sail after my real tripping days were over (though I didn't realize that at the time), so I wasn't getting much use with it except short experimentations during finicky wind conditions on day trips.

I'm sure someone else could get great use out of the heavy plastic and metal paddles, and even some heavy wooden paddles, I bought early in my canoe career. I haven't used them for the last 35 years or so.
 
260cm double blade. I don’t like the constant drippage off the blades into the boat. It’s useful in a headwind, but frankly, that thing kicks my butt—I’m just not strong enough to hold it up and swing it all day.
 
Ah, yes, the things I've bought and never or seldom used or that have not performed well. I prefer look at my many unfortunate purchases differently. I like to frame myself as a seeker of knowledge, an experimenter, etc. It makes me feel better than framing myself as someone who doesn't know good gear when he looks at it or as someone who gets dazzled by flashy bobbles.
My worst fault (in this area) is trying to be cheap frugal and buying a knock-off or an inexpensive, poorly built item instead of investing in a quality item from the start.
One thing that does come to mind is the many cheap tarps I bought over the years and while they worked reasonably well in good to moderate weather they can't cope with more severe weather. I recall doing a number of modifications to those cheap tarps but they still didn't do serious weather very well. When I finally bought a good tarp, it was a world of difference both in performance in bad conditions and in ease of set up.
Things are starting to come back - cheap sleeping pads, cheap sleeping bags, etc. I prefer to delete such errors from my memory as they negatively affect my self-esteem.
 
ymmv
1) Hand held flashlights. We've gone through several styles of them, from an army surplus model, a rubber coated industrial one I brought home from work, a big square D cell monster that floats ( NO it didn't), a penlight my wife found on a portage...we eventually switched over to headlamps. I started with several but I'm down to just 2 now as I gave one to my young grandson who was squinting to read at dusk under a small lantern on the most recent camping trip. Speaking of which,
2) Lanterns. We started with a 3 candle (UCO) lantern but after a nasty burn whilst playing cards we retired it. I tried the single candle models but wound up giving them away to other trippers fond of candlelit dinners. We still have a C cell lantern that is water proof (unintentionally tested) but that resides with the car camping gear. Headlamps still rule.
3) Collapsible sinks. Our folding model worked well and maybe I could see another type in our future, maybe, but after the first one developed creases which turned into leaks I just opted to simplify the dinner dishes all the more. So 1 less item to pack.
4) Dedicated clotheslines. This is where things get contentious. My wife swears they're the best thing since Platypus wine bags. ( I'm not dissing the platyserve thing) but I strongly disagree, after all we have rope. Lots of it. Why not just string up a length for the laundry? I can even bring a few clothes pegs. No, she's in love with a bungee one with built-in clips she acquired years ago. She still makes me pack it and insists we use it. It's long since lost its elasticity so she pines over the "good old days" when it was new and perfectly flexible. Yeah, don't we all miss that. But I still have rope.
As an aside, on a recent car camp I was voluntold "don't forget the...", yeah yeah yeah, no worries. But upon arrival we found no trees or structures of the suitable spacing for the dedicated clothesline. No problem she said, and pulled out her clotheshorse. To those un-initiated to Victorian domestic stuff, a clotheshorse is a drying rack for unmentionables. After the wind blew it over 30 minutes into the trip she started using (my) rope, and we've never discussed the travails of drying clothes since. Brad-1. M-0.
 
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The reflector oven, big and awkward to pack, uses too much fuel and is ridiculous hot to work with, especially in the summer months.
The frybake makes it obsolete
 
GPS. I have an old and almost dead Garmin Rhino. It was handy when I was doing archaeology surface surveys, but that was it - It's nice to have a precise location to pass on to someone for that type of work.
Using it for any outdoor navigation just took my head completely out of the game. I can read maps, I can use a compass, and I don't mind being lost since I know how to get myself unlost. Figuring out where you are always seemed to be part of the game (as did wondering where your are).
 
Paddles. Too much weight to bother with and I kept fighting with people to push off only with the handle end. I used to carry at least four paddles per boat, until I realized we can paddle with our hands and kick if need be. Or if things get really tough, we've trained the dog to tug the boat now.

But really - knives. I used to carry a Bowie knife, which never got used. The hardest thing I'll generally cut is a loaf of stale bread. Maybe some rope. Now I just carry a sharp Swiss Army knife or Leatherman, and it does everything I need for a knife. Oh, and a blunt nose rescue knife on my PFD that never, ever leaves my PFD.

On longer trips I do take my Leatherman. I can be quite useful if something like a stove breaks down, or a canoe seat needs repair.
 
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The nylon stuff sack with a built in small gasket to fit the inflation nozzle of my sleep mat. It cost too much ($28 as I recall) and I can inflate the the mat with 32 breaths. I repurposed this bag with 2 pieces of Gorilla Tape as a nice stuff sack for a large artificial fill sleeping bag I use when car camping.
 
The nylon stuff sack with a built in small gasket to fit the inflation nozzle of my sleep mat. It cost too much ($28 as I recall) and I can inflate the the mat with 32 breaths. I repurposed this bag with 2 pieces of Gorilla Tape as a nice stuff sack for a large artificial fill sleeping bag I use when car camping.
For more luxurious trips we have a pair of Thermarest Mondokings. The stuffsack for them has one of those inflation nozzles built in - the bag you keep them in doubles as the inflation sack, so you're already carrying it. Sometimes I use it, but probably only because I'm a filthy smoker and it makes me a bit lightheaded if I overdo it. I can use my lungs just as well, generally. But at least they take up no extra room.

Brilliant design, if you ask me.
 
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