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Jokes and Laughter for the Day

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A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.

“Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.”

“That’s a bunch of crap! Fish can’t do that!” replied the warden in disbelief.

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really works.”

“O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious.

The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited...

After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”

“Well, what?” the man responded.

“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted.

“Call who back?” the man asked.

“The FISH,” the warden said sternly.

“What fish?” the man asked.
 
My 8 yo grandson asked me if I was good at math. I said I'm ok. He said "what do I have if I have 12 beers and 8 beers?" I said "20?" He said, "No, you have a drinking problem."
 
There are a couple good ones that I hope I can remember, but Brads joke hit close to home for me and my plans. I have goldfish that live in a small pond outside in the summer and I bring them in side for the winter. Now that I spend a lot of time out of state I will have a hard time wintering them over and would like to find them a new home with a responsible goldfish owner. I would still like to have fish in the pond in the summer so my plan is to go to a local lake with stocked trout and bring a couple home in a bucket and return them to the lake in the fall. It's not the same scenario as Brads joke but it does involve a bucket, a pet fish and a lake.
 
This is for real; no joke; but I laughed long & loud when I first discovered them in our backyard.
I'll understand if the photo it's too risque for someone's "delicate sensibilities" & and gets deleted.
Well, not really.................

JOKER
 

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There are a couple good ones that I hope I can remember, but Brads joke hit close to home for me and my plans. I have goldfish that live in a small pond outside in the summer and I bring them in side for the winter. Now that I spend a lot of time out of state I will have a hard time wintering them over and would like to find them a new home with a responsible goldfish owner. I would still like to have fish in the pond in the summer so my plan is to go to a local lake with stocked trout and bring a couple home in a bucket and return them to the lake in the fall. It's not the same scenario as Brads joke but it does involve a bucket, a pet fish and a lake.

I have a small 3x6x2 feet deep pond, and my gold fish winter over just fine. They are about twelve years old now.


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Since they say laughter is the best medicine my simple brain came up with a few questions. 1) teaching at home sounds like a good idea but what does a "gym" teacher teach. There is a video telling kids to practice soccer by kicking a roll of toilet paper around the apartment. Sally "mom the gym teacher said I should kick a roll of toilet paper to practice for soccer" Mom, "You are not going to use our toilet paper. All I could buy was 27 rolls and we only have 26 left." 2) Then there is the NJ hospital that is providing call in medical advice for $20 per call. I can picture a call in dentist asking: "Do you have a drill, epoxy, pliers, string and a door knob?" 3) Or the music teacher "at 2 pm we are all going to sign row-row-row your boat."
 
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