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The sarissa: ideal canoe accessory for propulsion and critter defense

Glenn MacGrady

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So many ways to use it, so little time.

Maybe Murat and Rippy could combine to make a fancy one with a CTN logo.
 
I like where you're going with this. And the guy below certainly looks bushcrafty. I can see that windmill style of poling working pretty good.

 
Can you imagine what his neighbors think. Hey Marge look out the window, Harry's at it again in the vacant lot across the street.
 
Lest anyone think the versatile sarissa was invented by Dave Yost, John Winters or Nessmuk, it should be noted that it's not called "Stabby Phil" for nothing. History credits the invention of this canoe accessory to Phillip of Macedon, the father of Alexander the Great.

Earlier versions were used by 300 Spartans to hold off 250,000 Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae, even against the manic charges of Xerxes' personal guard, the Immortals. What chance would a puny Kodiak bear have against the sarissa? I wonder if those Spartans could have done better with pepper spray.

Even when finally surrounded because of the traitor's path, the Spartans could not be conquered hand-to-hand. They were finally all killed from a distance by thousands of archers. Thank goodness bears and gators don't have bows and arrows.
 
Glenn, I hope Sara Brady doesn't take note of your thread.

I think CW is affiliated with a company that makes a 3 lb carbon fiber sarissa with titanium ends.

MAS (Mothers against Sarissa) is lobbying for sarissa free school zones. I find this silly on account of the fact that when carried correctly you would need a 15'-20' tall door to get one in a school anyway.

The Sierra Club frowns on sticking Kodiak bears with a sarissa.

We would need a thread on how do you make a sarissa in the wilderness in case it breaks or is lost or something. I can see it now. While we are debating the best way to forge an iron spear head, Christy will come along and say "for god sakes why don't you just duct tape Stabby Joe to a long stick and be done with it." At which point we all look at our shoes and wonder why we didn't think of that.
 
Even when finally surrounded because of the traitor's path, the Spartans could not be conquered hand-to-hand. They were finally all killed from a distance by thousands of archers. Thank goodness bears and gators don't have bows and arrows.

OK Mr smarty pants. Just what do you expect me to do if I get attacked by archers on my next canoe trip?
 
Ha ha, I can only think of one canoe encounter involving archers, canoes and rednecks. I think the sarissa would probably be the best defence against amorous hillbillies!
 
Right about cats. A vet friend of mine said cats were the most dangerous rabid animal to be attacked by because they are so fast and go for your face. A cat at a neighbors farm terrorized all the dogs around, she was fierce.
Turtle
 
I don't think I'm sold yet. Seems like an awfully long handle for accurate wood splitting. Is it amenable to batoning? Can it shave feather sticks? Is it a scandi or concave grind?

I can see where it could come in handy for keeping the bow paddler in line. It would also keep you from burning off your knuckle hair when roasting wieners over a very hot fire. Not to mention the ability to pole upstream with your choice of pointy or blunt end, depending on conditions. If you went with the shield as well it would make a dandy wash basin around camp and maybe you could dimple the surface and have yourself a makeshift steel drum. I'm also pretty sure you'd never have to buy a permit for places like the BWCA because if any warden came upon that scene surely they'd just paddle the other way.

It would also come in handy for those pesky squirrels that sit in the tree right at the edge of camp and scold you for hours.

Alan
 
Nothing will turn a tent into a tarp faster than a canoe camper bringing his sarissa indoors for the night.
 
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